Yesterday my uncle died. Diagnosis: Acute Leukemia
He leaves two children behind, Jess (13) and Yves (11).
Have you ever had to say "Your dad has passed away two hours ago" to two kids who were coming home from school, laughing because they had a funny day?
It's not a good feeling.
I never really believed in god. It's just not something I can believe.
I know, many people are gonna hate me for saying this, but my uncle's death is enough proof for me.
If there really is a god, why would he want to make two innocent kids suffer?!
One of the religious people in my school said: "It might be kind of a test, something god needs them to go through. Because it's god's plan."
Yeah...what a shit-damnit-super-idiotic wonderful plan.
"When we honestly ask ourselves which person in our lives means the most us, we often find that it is those who, instead of giving much advice, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share our pain and touch our wounds with a gentle and tender hand. The friend who can be silent with us in a moment of despair or confusion, who can stay with us in an hour of grief and bereavement, who can tolerate not knowing, not curing, not healing and face with us the reality of our powerlessness, that is a friend who cares."
Henry Nouwen
Nadine-
ReplyDeleteI'm just so sorry. That's heart-wrenching.
I understand how it's easy to doubt God in this situation. And I'm not going to proselytize to you because I don't believe in that. But I don't see God in death either. How can you?
I see God in how we pick up the pieces afterwards. In the people who come together to console and love those who have lost. In the way that your family will know, even more, that they are loved. I don't think God plans pain, I think God allows it, because eventually we'll rise above it and see how far we've come.
I'm so so sorry. Many good thoughts to your family.